Yes, you guessed it, Angrygrape1337 finally writes an article about Trump, after railing about the guy for most of 2015 and 2016. If you were a fan of me bashing the guy, you would be well to know that I will be doing so until 2020. If you aren't a fan of me bashing Trump, too bad, but I promise I'll stop making fun of your waifu until 2020. If you're scared of what he'll do to this country as am I, don't worry honey, just wait until 2020. For those of you who support Trump, you should know that he's not really the savior you guys hope he is. In fact, I may have to say that he actually is an ineffectual fool. Also, I hate his hair, it sucks.
What makes Donald Trump an incompetent jackass is that he was in debt, has a failing business, and has no political experience. Hmm, I do wonder why he's running for president...hint: It's to absolve his debt, it's true. He has filed for bankruptcy numerous times, and this jackass thinks he can run a country? Wow, the nerve, but in the end, we all know actions speak louder than words, and you can't have a country file for bankruptcy, just so you know.
Oh, and please do tell us how all Mexicans are rapists and murderers. Please do tell us that you'll get rid of the 14th amendment, and please do try to build a wall. I still wonder how a man could say all this shit and get away with it. The same problem exists for Hillary Clinton, when she decided to call Bernie Sanders Supporters "Basement Dwellers" out of jealousy that Sanders could at least appeal to voters and seems way cooler overall. The only difference is that Clinton has been all about "muh feels" or some shit like that whilst simultaneously calling the victims of Bill's sexual assault as bimbos and sluts who were totally asking for it, Donald Trump is completely honest with us, still a douche either way. Oh, and please do go to war with ISIS, Mr. Trump, we're totally not gonna end up with another Iraq War on our hands, repeat the same mistake from 2003.
In case some of you guys were too young to know about this, the Iraq War was started because George Bushy-boy needed to take some oil for the U.S. because he's a greedy jackass, and that was responsible for most of our debt with the U.S. (and this whole debt thing happened in 2008 due mostly to the Iraq War, racking in trillions in national debt, under Bush's watch, so don't be blaming this on Obama the Cuckmeister you alt-right douchebags, and I'm not even defending the guy). Donald Trump said in his own words that he's gonna start a war with ISIS, and take their oil. Yes, he really didn't learn from history, did he? Then again, maybe that won't stop him. In fact, this would actually violate international law. According to The Annex to the Hague Convention of 1907 on the Laws and Customs of War, and the Geneva Convention in 1949, which states essentially that one nation couldn't take another's private property, and oil is private property, so Donald Trump could be a war criminal? Wow, I guess he isn't too different than Hillary Clinton.
Besides, if Trump really did try to get rid of the 14th Amendment just to get rid of anchor babies, what's he gonna replace it with? Not only is it a bad idea to get rid of the amendment that essentially gives us natural birthright, but it would also mean getting rid of the 13th, and 15th amendment, which states that black people are born free, are U.S. Citizens, and that slavery is abolished. So would Trump really fuck up our constitution this much to get rid of the mythical anchor-babies? I wonder what else he's gonna do to go to take down Bigfoot. Is he gonna take military action against the Lochness Monster? Maybe you and Congresscritter Steve King could go round up El Chupacabras and send them back to Mexico.
A lot of you think "Well, Trump is the champion of the Alt-Right, so at least they're not the ultra-religious types" Well, I hate to be the guy that tells you that you're wrong, but you're wrong. Not from Trump himself, but Mike Pence is an ultra jesus freak. He believes in Creationism Intelligent Design, gay therapy, all this bullshit. Don't Believe me? Well, take a look at this sucker from a speech he did in 2002 on the Congressional Floor about a 6-7 million year old skull:
"The Bible tells us that God created man in His own image, male and female; He created them. And I believe that, Mr Speaker. I believe that God created the known universe, the earth, and everything in it including man, and I also believe that some day, scientists will come to see that only the theory of intelligent design provides [the only] even remotely rational explanation for the known universe."
-Our good-ole VP Mike Pence
"Paleontologists are excited about this, Mr Speaker, but no one's pointing out that the textbooks, I guess, will need to be changed. Because the old theory of evolution taught for seventy seven years in the classrooms of America as fact is suddenly replaced by a new theory or, I hasten to add I'm sure, will be told a new fact. Well the truth is it always was a theory, Mr Speaker. And now that we've recognized evolution as a theory, I would simply and humbly ask that can we teach it as such and can we also consider teaching other theories of the origin of species..."
-Pence again, proving how much he knows about science and biology the same way Gaijin Goombah knows much about Japanese Culture: FUCK ALL!!
Never mind the fact that there is so much proof for the theory of evolution, and none for Intelligent Design, I have come to the conclusion that no, Intelligent Design will never be accepted in public schools. The theory of Evolution is both a fact and a theory, mainly because a theory in the scientific sense is completely different in the colloquial sense. A theory is a collection of facts that support the hypothesis, so yes, Pence, you are right, Evolution is only a theory, kinda like Gravity and Plate Tectonics, jackass!
So yeah, I kinda knew Trump was gonna win, I saw it coming a mile away, and there were signs early on. First of all, the democratic party was split significantly, between Hillary supporters (made up of Tumblrinas and hipster douches) and Bernie Sanders supporters, who went with Jill Stein (Awesome people like me). Second of all, Hillary's own corrupt past. You see, Bill Clinton got caught in a scandal with Monica Lewinski, an intern at the White House, and it got wind to the public, along with Bill's history of sexual assault with countless interns, and what did Hillary do? Attempt to cover it up, and tried to silence those women who were victims of Bill's assault. Then came Benghazi, where she left a few Americans dead at the American Embassy there, including Ambassador Stevens, then used private email servers to send classified information to foreign entities, and lied under oath. The splitting of the democratic party (so severe that 62% of democrats don't want Hillary Clinton to run again) and the supporting of a corrupt candidate really did contribute to Trump's victory. To that I say, we were all gonna lose America in the end, Trump is gonna leave the White House with a broken America, but at least those tumblrinas and numales supporting Hillary are doing us the honors and humiliating themselves over Trump on the internet by yelling and screaming like crybabies and sounding like total wimps, that is the only good thing Trump has done, and he isn't even inaugurated yet.
Yes, both sides are pretty dumb.
Works Cited
*For those of you who don't know, this title is based on this Article by Maddox about George W. Bush. No, this article is not a sequel, but something different.
No comments:
Post a Comment