Jelly-filled Donuts are insanely popular. They seem to be in almost every donut shop in America. Just one problem with it: Jelly filling sucks. Seriously?! We have a lot of creative ideas for filling, like Chocolate, peanut-butter, marshmallows, Boston creme, heroine, iron-filings, toxic waste, etc. so why jelly? It tastes like bullshit. If I wanted jelly, I would've eaten an entire bowl of fruit. All it does is get on your shirt and face when you eat it. At least glazed Donuts have the common courtesy to just stay on the Donut, jelly from donuts spew everywhere like a child with ADHD running through an art store; shit's gonna get messed up. So fuck Jelly-filled donuts.
What I also don't get is that we have to have powdered sugar donuts. I mean, sure they're good, but I could get sugar and put it on a donut. I would prefer glazed if I don't know what I want. In fact, all glazed donuts in a box with no variety is better than a jelly-filled donut or two is a variety pack. I hate jelly-filled donuts, I have no idea why they're so popular when it seems that everyone seems to get such a hard-on every time these shit-filled donuts appear in a box.
If there is one thing I hate more than Jelly-filled donuts, it's Dunkin' Donuts. Their food is pricey, high in calories (a serving of glazed donuts is 260 calories2, it's just donuts + glaze, a Jelly donut is donut + all the ingredients of jam, and that amounts to 210 calories1), their coffee tastes like shit, and it's served so hot, that you might as well drink lava straight from a volcano. As someone who had to go there everyday on Campus, everytime I ordered coffee, I had no choice but to go to the nearest water fountain to cool it down. Wow, I can't just enjoy coffee on the go for being too hot, so I have to sit down and wait for it to cool? Sure, fine by me, I got nothing planned, like having to go to the next class, so let's wait around like an asshole waiting for lava to cool. Dipshits!
I also hate their slogan. America Runs on Dunkin? What sense does that make? If America "runs on Dunkin", then I wanna move to Canada, at least they run on something else that's not Dunkin. Oh, wait, I don't have to, because there are little-to-no Dunkin Donuts stores in some parts of the United States. Yeah, very little shops in places like Texas, Wyoming, Washington, Colorado, Arizona, Minnesota, Oregon, Utah, New Mexico, Kentucky, West Virginia, Louisiana, those states.3 I guess not all of America runs on Dunkin, now does it, assholes!
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