Aristocats Has Always Sucked

The Disney movie, Aristocats, like Mullets and Michael Bolton, seems to be the classic thing everyone seems to love, but to a significant portion of the population, seems to be overrated. See, not everything from the past is great, just like not everything in the present is great. Sure, in the 2010s, we have awesome games, movies, and TV Shows coming out, but at the same time, music still sucks these days. All I hear from radio is whiny songs that all sound like this: "BWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH SOME GIRL DOESN'T LIKE ME, BUT LIKES THIS JERK INSTEAD!!" Yeah, tough shit, grow some balls. I sincerely dread "The Greatest Hits of the 2010s" in the future. Sure, what hits? Justin Bieber? Nicki Minaj? Miley Cyrus? Kill me now!

Boy I can't wait for /r/lewronggeneration to take this article out of context.

Okay, back to the topic at hand: Aristocats sucked. Seriously, one of the dumbest movies ever made. There's no point to it. The "plot" progresses like a kid with ADHD trying to run in a straight line; instead of doing that, he runs to the side, runs in circles, jumps around like a total moron, backtracks, and forgets he was supposed to go from point A to point B. That's what this movie is like.

The story goes like this: Some rich old lady is gonna pass her inheritance to her kittens. Okay, hold up: How is that even possible? What the hell are cats gonna use money for? Money is made for human use only. Cats don't have opposable thumbs to even grab money, so the only other creature with opposable thumbs is the butler that lives in the house, and he is the only one who is able to use money. Okay, we are only twenty minutes in, and this whole premise is falling apart.

So after the Butler, Suckbastion Micocklis over hears this, he devises a scheme to get rid of the cats. What, you mean he kills them? Oh please, that would mean he is actually smart, but don't forget he's stupid. He just drugs them, and puts them out in the middle of nowhere. Great plan, genius, it's not like they can come back.

Oh, this one scene that could virtually take five minutes? No, let's make a movie out of it. So some other cat comes in, dicking around, they decide to get back to the house...but not after doing a bunch of other bullshit.

After what is basically forty minutes of bullshit with forgettable characters and the butler being a complete dumbass, we finally make a stunning conclusion: the cats put the butler in the box, and send him off to Africa, and everyone lives happily ever after. After watching this movie, I wish I could get sent to Africa. At least starving kids there didn't see this shitty movie.

I don't get why everyone seems to be so nostalgic for this movie, and even kids today seem to enjoy it. Why? The movie was put on so 4-year-old you would shut up. No one gets nostalgic over the time they were four, maybe 7 through 9, but not 4, that is the time of your life you start regretting liking those things at the age of 7. I mean, even then it's not comparable to regretting every part of your teenage years by your mid-to-late twenties.

Take off your nostalgia goggles, please! The movie wasn't that great.