Ever since the dawn of time, we imagined the future would have jetpacks, hover boards, space colonies, and robots that would make kickass music, and now that the future is here, I think the past is pretty pissed with us for not giving everyone jetpacks, the only thing we have close to a hoverboard is those shitty oxboards (which I call them Feetdoras, because they're fedoras for your feet), we don't have space colonies, and this sucks ass because America is full of jackasses who don't like to think of the future, or kick microbial ass in space, and the only robots that make music are these creatures known only as "Vocaloid", and they make shitty music. Hatsune Miku is a very prime example of this bullshit:
I mean, what kind of shitty design do they have? Yeah, sure, wear a tie, because when you suck this badly, you have to look at least presentable. The hair looks stupid, two pigtails? I mean, what, was Sasami not in today? Those arm bands look stupid as hell, and why does it have a keyboard? Is it there in case you need to google "how to not suck at music"? At least the ones Dimmu Borgir wear have some type of function with the spikes on them. Like when some jackass gets up on stage to try and mess up the guitarist and generally crash the stage, BAM!! The lead guitarist could just ram those spikes at his face. If he complains about it, he can say "Tough shit!"
| Don't forget about our testicle-ripping shins. |
All the music by Miku sucks ass. It sounds like she just got pumped full of Helium. Not to forget the music itself sounds like generic J-pop crap you hear getting praised by some weeb fuck. I mean just hear this song. Listening to that, I could imagine some fat, sweaty neckbeard weeb humping his animu body pillow in his room that has so much moe anime posters plastered on the walls, before his mom walks in to yell at him to stop using the family computer to mine Bitcoin (which is about as valuable as a handful of dogshit) and earn some real money by getting a real job.
What is so annoying about this is that Miku is everywhere, on cars billboards, posters, EVERYWHERE! Why?! She is a talentless, not real...thing! Why does this thing get more recognition than any talented bands that actually put real thought in their music? I see it all the fucking time on the internet. Even on Playboy, which is pretty weird, but I guess Hugh Hefner felt like exploiting neckbeards (or at least getting their moms to pay for that shit, because they don't have jobs) would be a good idea. You get the point, it's everywhere. It's just nothing but overrated garbage.
Kids: This is what happens if you don't buy good music.
Well, that does it for those ugly creatures, when it comes to music, let the humans handle it, humans kick ass. Don't believe me? These humans are examples that kick ass:
- Children of Bodom
- Metallica
- Suicidal Tendencies
- Megadeth
- Slayer
- Anthrax
- Immortal Technique
- Rammstein
- Cradle of Filth
- Aerosmith
- Cypress Hill
- DMX
- Jimi Hendrix
- Naildown
- Nirvana
- Tupac
- Biggie Smalls
- Pantera
- Bullet for my Valentine
- Van Halen
- Alice in Chains
- Pink Floyd
- White Zombie
- Iggy Pop
- CKY
There is so much more, but this would be a hell of a long article. So what chance do these fake-ass musicians have against bands like these?
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna get laid with some hookers and kill Captain Stupid while listening to this awesome music by Norther.
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