Me: Ok, why are you wearing a speedo?
Satan: Because I look awesome in it. Look at it!
Me: No thanks, I really don't feel like looking at some guy's junk.
Satan: Yeah, but look at this little detail on it. You'll like it.
Me: Okay, fine, so it's the Konami logo. I see it's the old and the new logo, and now I'm reminded that Silent Hills got canceled. Thanks, asshole!!
Satan: You are so welcome, shitface. I am also the current president of Konami. Did you know that?
Me: No, I didn't. So, how did you come up with the idea of My Little Pony?
Satan: I wanted to do something new. You see, the whole show started out as a test for a big disease I'm working on.
Me: What is it?
Satan: Super-AIDS. A mutagenic virus that transforms kids into socially awkward fuckheads. It can only be transmitted via TV signals. The disease that was transmitted through My Little Pony Friendship is Magic is actually Hepatitis B.
Me: Wow, that's devilish. I see that the show you made also promotes bestiality and pedophilia as well, was that the intention?
Satan: Yes.
Me: What other shows did you create before My Little Pony?
Satan: I created the Kardashian shows, Jersey Shore, The Jenny Jones Show, Cop Rock, Two and a Half Men, Entourage, The Real Housewives of every location, Full House, Secret Life of an American Teenager, the list goes on. I also wrote episodes of Family Guy since 2009, and Spongebob after the movie, so there's that. You seen that?
Me: So you do have some experience with the TV business, right?
Satan: Yes. I really do have lots of experience.
Me: What about Movies?
Satan: I made the Transformers movies, Twilight, and all those stupid romantic comedies. However, my proudest achievement has got to be Batman and Robin, and Catwoman with Halle Berry.
Me: Ah, okay, and what other endeavors involved you?
Satan: With technology, I invented Social Media, Comments Sections, I made the autocorrect function on iPhones, I invented DLC, and Microtransactions in games, and so on.
Me: Okay, we seem to be going off track here, let's get back--why did you choose to reboot MLP?
Satan: Well, I took a trip down memory lane when I saw the past MLP incarnations, and I decided to make one for the next generation, to inspire anger and hatred, basically wrath. Instead of just that, I decided to inspire pedophilia on the side as well, to basically promote wrath and pedophilia.
Me: What do you mean "trip down memory lane" do you mean you used to watch the show?
Satan: No, what I meant is that I created the show, from generation 1 to now. I was involved with everything.
Me: Ah, okay. So the names for the characters, like Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, how did you come up with the names?
Satan: I didn't, they were terms used for drugs in Hell made by other demons, I just used them in my show. You see, Twilight Sparkle has to do with Cocaine, Rainbow Dash has to do with LSD, and Fluttershy has to do with Heroine.
Me: Oh, like that one scene in Breaking Bad where Jesse takes a shot of Heroine, and he starts floating? I remember that. What about Pinkie Pie? What drug is that?
Satan: Oh no, that character was based on the demon who ate gluttonous sinners, you see, he would start at the face, then work his way down, so I created the character based from his habit, as well as the stupid looking hair. I told him one time to shave his head and wipe his ass with that hair, and he told me to suck his dick. He got demoted immediately after that.
Me: Wow, what a dumbass. So how does it feel to know that you created the worst show on Television, even outperforming Jersey Shore or Twilight in such foul shitiness?
Satan: ......Accomplished!
Me: So why did you go with the tagline "Friendship is Magic?"
Satan: Because the acronym for that is FiM, which is a name for the Stinger Missile Launcher.
Me: Okay, so you named the show after a weapon that takes down aircraft? Why?
Satan: Because I felt like it.
Me: Okay, so how is each episode made?
Satan: I get the sex slaves to--
Me: Wait, you get sex slaves to write the episodes?
Satan: No, they animate it, and you would have known that if you were so kind as to let me finish, instead of interrupting me like a stupid fuckhole!!
Me: Sorry.
Satan: Okay, so we get a whole fuckton of gimps to whip out their penises, because their leather suit has a crotch area that unzips, letting the penis out with ease, then what we do is we take oil, slather it on the penises, then have them draw each frame of the animation on a touchscreen tablet, then put it together, and bingo, we got an episode.
Me: Okay, at least I can appreciate the shitty animation a little more. I mean, we have a generation of socially awkward man-children who are infatuated with cartoons made from rubbing one's dick on a touch-screen.
Satan: Did you know that all the voice actors are male?
Me: Shit, really? The voices are too high for them to be male.
Satan: Yeah, I got the voices of castratos to do all the voices of the characters.
Me: So why did you give credit to people who didn't even do it?
Satan: Okay, be realistic; who's gonna believe that dead people do voices on a show?
Me: Fair point. Though that would be cool, a show only performed by dead people. That concludes this interview, I'm gonna play some Metroid Prime on Wii. Do you got any of that...I don't know the slang, just get me some weed. I need to be high playing this.
Satan: Sure, I think the guy above you needs some more Rainbow Dash. You wanna fuck me?
Me: No thanks.
After that, Satan handed me this picture of him cosplaying:
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