Some Girl You Like Friendzones You? Here's Why...

Dating is a serious thing, and if you aren't dating, then you are asleep behind the wheel. For real though, there are guys who are naturally good with women, where it doesn't matter how their hair looks, or how they act. They could act like a goofball or no, they can still attract women like flies to shit. Then there are guys who are too unattractive, so they have to develop a personality, then there are guys who are too unattractive with no personality at all. The third category is where you fall in, while I fall in the first.

Fear not, for you have me to tell you what is a huge turnoff for women, to the point of them friend-zoning you:


1. Being Nice

No, I don't mean being so nice it's creepy, what I mean is being nice in general. Seriously, women hate any sort of kindness. If you were being nice and courteous to women anyway, like holding doors open for them, they would despise you. Hell, if some girl was nice to me and started complimenting me...BAM!! A swift punch to the face!!



I hate nice people; send them all to the Sun.



2. You Like To Watch Cutesy Shows

So this lady finds out you like some stupid anime show about girls dicking around and doing absolutely nothing at all or My Little Pony, how do you think she would react? You think she finds it cute and charming? Think again: she finds you repulsive as fuck and wants to get the fuck away from you. Also, why do you watch shows like that? Watch some sports and grow a fucking pair, before you end up on the sex offenders registry list.



3. You don't Look Like Channing Tatum
What's this? You don't even look like a tall, thin, muscular guy? You are only skinny with no muscle? If you don't look like Channing Tatum or Tyson Beckford, then please go to the gym or fuck off. Women hate men who don't look like the two guys I mentioned, so maybe you should try to look like them.



4. You Have the Wrong Beliefs

Yes, we all know that atheists are the most persecuted group in America, and there's a good reason why: they're all neckbeards, and nobody like neckbeards. You see, women would only ever consider dating guys who are religious, and by religious, I mean Christian of any denomination (please don't go into a Catholicism vs. Protestantism debate in the comments), and would turn down atheists due to the fact that they're atheist. So if you're not christian, than you are scum, and scum deserves to die alone a virgin. Don't be an atheist and jerk off to underaged anime girls, be a Christian, and you'll be successful and have a real girlfriend. If you're a Muslim, guess what: Women didn't forget 9/11, stupid towel-heads. So maybe try changing your beliefs, or you'll be forever alone.

Also, don't believe in the theory of Evilution, that is an incredibly huge turn off for women if you believe in Science.



5. You Listen to the Wrong Music

What's this? you listen to the music you like? Well, according to women everywhere, that's a huge turn-off if you listen to music that is not on the top 40 or playing at the club. So maybe you should stop listening to J-pop and listen to stuff you hate. What's this? You can't stand top 40 songs today, and would rather listen to what makes you happy? Okay, hope you're happy dying a virgin.



6. You play video games

Do you honestly think women like men who play video games? Not really. Especially when games like the one shown below pollutes the gaming industry with useless sexist bullshit:



So guess what, find a hobby you hate, or you won't get laid.


So there you have it, reasons as to why you're still single. So now that you know the secrets, go out there and be a mad pussy slayer the likes of which the world has ever yet to see.

I'm kidding, if you believe in the friendzone, you're a dumbass.






Fun Fact:
I am serious about number 2, no real man watches My Little Pony at all.