Six ways Megaman is better than Sonic

There is so much bullshit with the world. So much it depresses me sometimes. So I thought I would do something a little lighthearted like comparing two classic blue video game characters. Sounds like fun, right?

Megaman (Known as Rockman in Japan) debuted on the Famicom in 1987, and became a hit immediately, which spawned many sequels. However, the main megaman series was declining in polpularity, so Capcom decided to improve on the series with Megaman X! This game ROCKS HARD!!!! This game was awesome because it featured the dashing and walljumping we all love in Megaman, and that, along with the Metroid style of upgrades, made it a serious contender with the likes of Super Castlevania IV and Super Metroid. By the way, the Megaman Zero series is harder than a forest of erect dicks!!!! Not even kidding!!!!!!!

Sonic the Hedgehog! What can I say? You're a hedgehog, and you run fast. Debuted in 1991 from Sonic Team, published by Sega on the Sega Genesis, this blue blur came to be a competitor of Mario, and set a legacy of games, comics, TV shows, and cringeworthy deviantart posts. His true 3D debut, Sonic Adventure, won critical acclaim in 1999.

Of course, we all know that Megaman will always be better because he's awesome. Not just in one way, but Six Ways!!!

1. SHOOTING

Have you ever played Sonic and wondered "Why would he just throw himself onto the enemy?" Yeah, that strategy is stupid, puts yourself at risk, and this is the reason why Shadow decided to switch to guns instead. At least it looks cooler than jumping on heads. Maybe that's the reason Megaman shoots lemons. 

2. BETTER FANS

Of course, when you think of Sonic Fans, you think of Jontron and Egoraptor, or at least I think of them. Danny Sexbang, too. Yeah, the Game Grumps are fans of Megaman, while people like Guptil89 and MichaelDragon800, if somehow they made a let's play channel, would be called the Lame Chumps! Guptil89 made a list of the "Hottest Female Sonic Characters" and yes, he was fucking serious! MichaelDragon800 has a tapdancing fetish. I'm serious about this! So these two Sonic-fags suffer from autism, Egoraptor and Danny Sexbang don't suffer from anything...except rage and weed respectively, but hey, at least it's not autism!

3. ABILITIES

We're going to Megaman X territory when I say that Megaman X can jump on walls, while Sonic can't...unless he gets help from someone else...also, RIDIN' ON CARS!!!




4. BETTER FAN-ART

We know the "art" done by Chris Chan, we know the art by Egoraptor! Seriously, when Sonic fans do fanart, they do it horribly, but when Megaman fans do fanart, they do it better!

5. UPGRADES

Sonic never had to upgrade and get better until Sonic Adventure, but these upgrades only ever did minor things, like ring dash, whatever, but Megaman X's upgrades changed the way you play the game. Remember his dashing? How about the fact that in sequels to Megaman X, when you get the leg upgrade, you can dash IN MID AIR!!! How about reducing damage with the body armor? How about using the helmet so when you use other weapons in normal shot, it doesn't knock down a peg of your weapon gauge, but charging it does!? How about getting the arm upgrade, so you can charge one more time with the weapon where it gets insane amounts of power!!? Holy shit!!



6. BETTER CHARACTERS

Yeah, we know this is Sonic's game, and he's supposed to be the character we like, but doesn't it seem that the others are just lame? Tails is bland, Knuckles is cool, though, but holy fuck I can't even stand Amy. She makes Medusa Heads less annoying. All she does is follow Sonic around, and is just plain annoying about it. Kinda' like Vile, except Vile is better.

Verdict: Vile > Amy

And who the fuck is Cream and why should be care?

What about Megaman? Well, nothing much about the characters except one of them is A FREAKIN' BADASS!! THAT MAN IS ZERO!!!





Okay, that was some of the reasons that Megaman is better than Sonic.

Don't take this article too seriously.