So here we are, Halloween 2017. You know I reviewed classic horror movies, right? Well, I decided to not only dedicate them to the Hammer Horror films, but also some anime movies I missed. I know you saw the Monster Girls banner I introduced April Fools Day, but I assure you, the rating for the anime shows would be completely obvious. Before I review the movies, lemme go over the history of Hammer Films. So they formed in 1934 in England. They made some mediocre movies, sometimes forgettable, and they weren't making any horror movies. Why would they, Universal had the market cornered with Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Wolfman. Universal was leading the pack in gothic horror while Hammer led humble beginnings.
Then, in the 1940s, something special happened: The U.S., Canada, Britain, and other nations dropped the first ever atomic bomb on Japan, followed by the second one. This fear of nuclear warfare led to a more science-fiction based approach to movie-making. Instead of the horror of the 30s with bats, spiderwebs, decaying castles and mad scientists, there seemed to be a kind of repetition when it came to horror, where every movie either had to have giant monsters or a copy-paste of War of the Worlds. Let's just say that for America, it seemed to be the worst time to be a fan of scifi and horror movies.
Hammer seemed to pick up where America left off. Their approach had to be radically different, an opposite direction of the Universal movies. Instead
So without further ado, let's begin.
What makes this one differ completely from the 1931 version is the fact that it has a lot more blood in it, is in color (actually, it looks like an 80's movie, and I mean late 80's), and seems to be more focused on the grotesque imagery than on the atmosphere (which was heavier in the 1931 Dracula). Peter Cushing plays Van Helsing, and Christopher Lee plays the Bloody Count himself, and I must say, I do like Sir Christopher Lee's Dracula a little better than Lugosi's. I'm not even kidding when I say that this movie doesn't hold back on the grotesqueness, but the fog and atmosphere is still there and what truly holds it together.
Verdict:
Way to start off the Hammer Horror Films List with something that will make you fall in love with it immediately. If anything, compared to the Boris Carloff version, this one has a more fleshed out version of Viktor Frankenstein, instead of a crazy-haired guy that yells "IT'S ALIVE!!". In this version, he comes off as an amoral scientist who strives to learn how to build a man from scratch after reviving a dead dog with his assistant Paul Krempe, who is the moral voice. The monster is the best designed yet, as it looks so much more corpse-like than ever before, and I do like the idea of it being more like that rather than some big green guy. I also liked the descent into madness as portrayed by Peter Cushing, a more interesting depiction of Frankenstein as the amoral murderer and even womanizer.
Verdict:
Not to be confused with the 1934 movie, or the 1999 reboot where the sequel later starred The Rock, who went on to become the Scorpion King, who then went on to hunt Vin Diesel's candy ass in The Fast and the Furious, and now Hollywood is smelling what The Rock is cooking, it's time to smell what The Cush is cushing. I'm noticing a theme here, Sir Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing are to horror as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are to action movies, and what Simon Pegg and Nick Frost is to comedy; you put any of them into a movie and you get instant quality, and it's no different when you get to see The Mummy. Not only is the movie rife with good acting, it's also grotesque, and-yeah, I think you get the point. Yeah, if you know how good the other two movies were, I think you could work out what rating this movie gets.
Verdict:
Time now to review the sequels. This one follows Frankenstein after his date with the guillotine, but he was publicly declared executed, he now works at a random hospital under a new name. One day, a member of the medical community in Carlsbruck comes across Frankenstein, willing to work with him to make a new monster with a perfectly functioning brain. We all know Viktor is a genius, but even then, the definition of insanity still rings true for everyone regardless of their IQ.
Verdict:
If you have a taste for swashbucklers, or you're a fan of Castlevania, then this movie is for you. It has swashbuckling adventure set in a gothic horror setting, even the main character inspired Simon Belmont of Castlevania fame, in fact, Castlevania was inspired by Hammer Films. You might be wondering how the movie is, and I'll tell you it was a standard swashbuckling film, perfect for a popcorn movie. In the 18th century, a village smewhere in Europe is terrorized by an invisible enemy; a vampire that steals the youth of its victims, usually young girls. A unique idea, but what this film is remembered as is the catalyst for the Castlevania series.
Verdict:
Don't let the title fool you now, Dracula doesn't appear in this, but Peter Cushing, does reprise his role as Dr. Van Helsing, and is still in character. A new plot begins as a schoolteacher, Mademoiselle Danielle, travels through the dark woods of Transylvania and encounters a Baroness of a nearby castle, whose son is kept locked up, and is asked to stay at the castle. After the Danielle sets him free as per his request, she is shocked to know that he is an insane vampire, as evident by the fact that he killed his own mother, the baroness, and is free to terrorize the countryside of Transylvania. Dr. Van Helsing must find a way to end this terror. Even if Dracula isn't in this, judging by it's own merits, I must say that this is truly a sequel to Dracula only Bram Stoker would dream of.
Verdict:
Last year, I reviewed Twilight, and gave it an F- by saying that Vampires do not sparkle, well these vampires don't sparkle, but they sure suck. Generic harem anime with generic protagonist, and generic anime girls, if you hadn't guessed, the anime sucks, and I guess this is the male equivalent to Twilight, and serves as proof that Vampires don't have to sparkle to be terrible. The plot goes that some vampire chick, I think it's Moka something, we'll call her Mocha Frappacino for the sake of convenience, meets some dork named Tsukune, and you know the plot to every single harem anime, but this time with vampires and other monsters. Mocha Frappacino is a whiny bitch who always craves Tsukune's dick or something, is a bland airhead and has no discernable personality, so basically a female Edward cullen, only doesn't sparkle, but is terrible regardless. That doesn't stop the neckbeard fans from comparing it to Twilight and saying that Rosario + Vampire is better than Twilight, not realizing or even catching hints at all that their favorite show is basically Twilight for men neckbeards, and that Vampire Hunter D is the way to go.
Verdict:
So that was Hammer Films (except the last one), so how was it? Well I'll tell you, during the 50's and 60's, it was a prominent name in horror, but it started to lose it's steam afterward. With the failure of the Frankenstein Movies and Dracula A.D. 1972 and Satanic Rites of Dracula being panned not only by critics, but Sir Christopher Lee himself, Hammer lives on in the influences of many horror-themed media to come. If it weren't for Hammer, there would be no Castlevania or Vampire Hunter D at all. Even the actors would be remembered in Star Wars, as Peter Cushing plays an imperial general, and Sir Christopher Lee plays Count Dooku. All I can tell you is one piece of media reviewed tonight failed to take notes from Hammer, and you know damn well what it is.
No comments:
Post a Comment