Confession: I watched an episode of My Little Pony last week, and I liked it. I might go so far as to say that I'm a brony now.

I'm gonna get so much hate for this, but it is true that I am now a fan of My Little Pony. I have always trashed the show constantly, saying it's worse than Jersey Shore. Actually, Jersey Shore is the bad show, and MLP isn't.

I was always growing up in a time where it was not okay to stray from traditional gender roles. I was always under the illusion that in order for there to be something for me, and other boys, all that's needed was nothing but violence and blood. There was always a problem with these types of things, like movies, video games, and TV shows: The only way to solve your problems is to use violence. That is very problematic, and is an example of  the kind of toxic masculinity that permeates our culture to this day.

You see, I was always the kind of person in High School who would pick on other kids for being different. In fact, all I did was be incredibly misogynistic towards the girls, and be a total jerk to everyone. This all came from the media I consumed. I was into violent anime like Hellsing and Berserk, and dark music ranging from Metalcore to Black Metal, which teaches the youth to be hateful towards your fellow humans, and indifferent towards their suffering.

All this time, I was the one who was suffering loneliness and depression. I had this hole, this emptiness, and I tried to fill it up with all the machoness, and I couldn't even fill it. It wasn't until I saw the first episode that it was a huge wake up call to myself. I felt awakened, and it was a huge improvement of my life. I could feel nothing but joy. This damaging hole in me was fixed with just one episode.

The episode was just too cute and happy, I just couldn't even resist. No, really, the character designs look SO ADORABLE! The voices sound as sweet and soothing as a melody. My favorite character is the pink and yellow one with those cute puppy dog eyes, she was just the cutest character of the whole show, so huggable and cute I could die *squees loudly*!

Found this on Deviant Art. I no longer found this disturbing.

Don't get me started on the Pink one, too.

I hope that one day, if I have a beautiful daughter, maybe she would cherish the values of friendship and compassion, just like I do. If everyone was a brony, or pegasister, then maybe the world would be a better place.

To show that, I decided to change my entire blog. From now on, I am changing my name from Angrygrape to Joyful Grape, to reflect on the fact that I am a changed man. Also, in a few weeks, I will change the design of this blog. Instead of all this black, and dark colors, I decided to go with bright colors, because it feels dreary and depressing just using the current scheme.

My writing style will change, because instead of using mean-spirited insults and off-color humor, I would use constructive, positive criticisms, even against the likes of Donald Trump, because people like him just don't understand the errors of their ways. Swearing will be reduced to zero, because these words harm people, and those who use these vulgarities hurt themselves, too.

From now on, the name of this blog would be something different. It should be cute and cool, just like My Little Pony. Also, I'm gonna spell the title of this blog with Ks instead of Cs, because sometimes we have to be hip and kool to connect with the youth.

The name of my blog from now on is Joyful Grape's Kute Kuddly Korner. Changes will take effect sometime April 8th.















































April Fools, dicknuts!

The blog remains insane , I'm gonna continue being a fuckaholic, and Donald Trump is a fucking idiot.

Also, My Little Pony sucks worse than Jersey Shore and Keeping up with the Kardashians combined!

Fuck Bronies!

Now y'all wanna hear me talk about shit?

Of course you do.

Public Restrooms are gross, and the people that use them are morons!

One of the things I hate about them is that rows of urinals don't have a wall separating them, so you are hoping against hope that the guy who, up and out of nowhere decided to take a urinal next to you, isn't looking at your penis with delight. That's just creepy and stupid.

Seriously, assholes, build a wall.

As someone who constantly uses public restrooms, I always take the stalls, and by that, I mean the handicapped stalls. The normal stalls are so incredibly small, it feels like a toilet made for squirrels. I hate normal stalls. Some bathrooms have only one handicapped stall, which is the only good public restroom stall in existence. Some have one handicapped stall, but an entire row of smaller stalls, like 12 Max. You could've used that space to build two or more handicapped stalls, or better yet, an underground research lab trying to research how to build better stalls, but no, you had to prepare for the impossible scenario that about 30 people all have to all take a dump at the same time (just try to imagine that scenario playing out).

Another thing I hate about them, aside from the fact that they're smaller than bacteria, is that the doors open inward instead of outward like it should. I want to know the genius behind that, because that design is fucking stupid! The space between the stall door and the toilet is smaller in length than brony dicks. So to close the doors, you have to stand uncomfortably close to the side of the toilet, so as to not risk getting knocked into the toilet just to close the door. At this point, I might as well hug the toilet like how those socially awkward fuckbaskets hug their waifu body pillows. I am amazed that there are people in this world who could take such a simple task of letting us close one fucking door and making it even more difficult and time-consuming.

Kinda like that, except with a toilet in a standard stall, which hopefully has no cum stains on it...I'm terrified of public bathrooms now.

Memo to people who keep making these stalls for every public bathroom: Thanks, assholes!

Have you ever been taking a dump, then, after a courtesy flush, wish you had an automated mechanism that is buggy, glitchy, unresponsive, and doesn't work at all? Of course you haven't, but some geniuses solved this non-issue by making an automatic toilet that doesn't flush shit, both figuratively and literally. So now instead of manually taking two seconds of your time to press the lever to flush, you have to spend two minutes of your time waving your hands around like you're trying to get the attention of a brain-dead child too busy playing his shitty, ad-bloated iPad game to even pay fucking attention to his surroundings just to get the toilet to flush.

 

Oh, and speaking of children, bringing children into public restrooms is like going to Dracula's dinner party: You just don't do it! Whenever someone brings their shithead child into a bathroom, what do you think happens? Yeah, that's right, they'll try and peak in one of the stalls without their parent(s) watching, and you have to use your foot to push them out like you're Leon Kennedy curb stomping a zombie for humping his leg in Resident Evil 2. Keep your shithead child under control, dumbass parents, or he'll likely be a future sex-offender!

What also gets me is the kind of people who would go to a stall, shit everywhere in the toilet, and not flush. That is just fucking nasty! Seriously, flush! It looks like Michael J. Fox took a dump and left. I mean, you have your own place, you hold a job, you go to college, pay for tuition, but you can't even take a dump the right way?! That's how you know you failed as a human being.

Don't get me started on the people who just leave toilet paper in the toilet, with or without a huge load of shit in it that stinks up the whole place. Fuck the people who do this shit!

Back on the subject of Urinals, I hate when people take the urinal close to me, and initiate small talk. Yeah, nothing says "Now's the appropriate time to talk about stuff" like taking a piss with the guy next to you. It's even worse when you take a urinal close to me when there is an entire row of urinals to choose from. No, I don't wanna be your best friend, I just wanna take a piss. Yes, I know I'm attractive and all, but come on!

When I use the sink, I like using paper towels. Paper towels makes it easier to dry off your hands. Convenient, right? Well, in the United States of Fuckupland, convenience is unamerican, dammit! Instead, we use air-dryers that feel like someone is breathing softly on your hands, making the 20 second long task of drying your hands take 20 minutes instead. Don't get me started on the airblade thing, the bottom of the thing is where bacteria collect, leading to infection. Gross!

Please, America, fix your bathrooms, and don't watch My Little Pony, it's a show much worse than Twilight. Yes, you know the Twilight that turned vampires into sparkling pussies? Well even these sparkling pussies are way more badass than the main fucking characters of MLP.

I know what you might be thinking, "But Angrygrape, the show teaches love, friendship, and compassion for all, how can you be so insensitive?" Shut the fuck up already, you douche-fortress. If you didn't know about that shit during the first few years of your life, then you officially failed as a human being, and you deserve to be exiled to the South Sandwich Islands, which has no sandwiches.

Pictured: Bronies on South Sandwich Island.

Up next: My rare interview with Justin Bieber, former punching bag of the internet.


Angrygrape: "So, Justin, your music used to be considered the worst by the Internet, so how does it feel to know that your music sucks less than Hatsune Miku's"

Justin Bieber: "Well, it feels pretty good, especially coming from a fan like you and-"

AG: "Whoa, what makes you think I'm a fan of yours? You're an egotistical shit-donut! Go die in a fire!"

JB: "I'm sorry. Can I suck your dick?"

AG: "Sure. That's gonna be $200,000 extra, I am one of those classy prostitutes, ya'know?"


Don't miss the rest of it tonight at 8:00/7:00 EST!