A Mock /r/neckbeardstories Post About The Type Of Guy Who Follows This Advice

TinHead, or: How Not To Pick Up Girls At Yoga Class

Hello /r/neckbeardstories, I'm here to tell you my neckbeard story about a guy I met at yoga class. Here's the cast list:

IchiHimeFangirl420 - Me, 20, Female, University student, blonde nerdy girl, and yes I'm conventionally attractive. Loves video games (Zelda, Final Fantasy, Persona) and anime (One Piece, Naruto, Demon Slayer). You can call me IchiHime.

Yoga Teacher - 32 F Yoga Teacher, she's a great teacher.

TinHead - 23 M The Neckbeard, looks like he got a haircut at GreatClips, his hair is just a couple tufts on the top of his head. Looked so goofy, named TinHead because he looks like Tin Tin and Butthead put on Potara Earrings. Remember it's the beard on the inside that counts.

So without further ado, let's go.

He came in one day when I was doing yoga. Before the class began, I saw him enter with what looked like a new haircut. He initially started an awkward conversation with me.

TinHead: "So you like yoga too?"

Me confused: "Umm yeah."

TinHead: "Heh heh, me too!"

The class began, and he took a spot next to me. He tried to talk to me during that time, but found it hard to under all these stretches.

The class ends, and TinHead comes to me again.

TinHead: "Can I get your number?"

Me: "Uhh, no."

TinHead: "Why not?!"

I contemplated answering honestly since I didn't find him attractive, but I was worried about him going on a tirade about how "nice guys finish last" and how I'm the bitchiest bitch who doesn't like nice guys.

Me: "Just...not looking for someone at the moment."

TinHead: "Can I have your number?"

This man just asked for my number again. Before I could answer, he asks this:

TinHead: "You probably never met a good man before. I assure you not all guys are douchebags who play video games or watch anime, and I actually showered or cleaned my car. I even got a haircut, how does it look?"

I was at a mix of slightly offended and weirded out, I couldn't find a place to start. I know I had to.

Me: "What's wrong with video games and anime?"

TinHead: "Well, you uhh, umm, let's see..."

It was weird to see him try and come up with all these reasons. Ranging from being lazy, to being racist or something. I interjected:

Me: "I like video games and anime, what are you talking about?"

His mouth was agape. He looked very shocked.

TinHead: "What!? But I gave up on video games and sold all my consoles and games for you! I read this online that to get a girl to like you, you have to stop playing video games and get a haircut at GreatClips!"

So that explained everything. He went to Great Clips, I just can't.

TinHead: "So what do you think of my haircut?"

I was hesitant on being honest, and all I can give was...

Me: "It's...interesting...I guess..."

Note: This is my way of saying it looks like ass, but he lit up as if I said he was going to be the next James Dean.

TinHead: "So can I have your number?"

Before I could answer, YogaTeacher, acting like my guardian angel, swooped in on our conversation.

Yoga Teacher: "Is there a problem here?"

TinHead: "Uhh, no."

Then TinHead sheepishly walked away.

For an entire week he would be pushy and ask for my number repeatedly, until on a wednesday he stopped. So it looked like he finally gave up...or did he?

Stay tuned for Part 2.

TinHead, or: How Not To Make A Grand Gesture

Hello /r/neckbeardstories, IchiHimeFangirl420 here, and this is part 2 of my series of TinHead. So let's get a cast list refresher:

So after wednesday's class, I took a shower like I do everyday, and I got a missed call from an unknown number and I assumed it was spam. Then it rang again. Strange, who else would have my number? So I answered and when a voice came on, my heart sank.

Caller: "Hello IchiHime! How is your evening?"

Me: "How did you get this number?"

TinHead: "When you were talking with your friend, I found your phone, accidentally called mine, and now we can talk. So do you want to go to Carrabas? It's nice and fancy."

Me personally, whenever I go out, I prefer ramen, an arcade, or TopGolf, Italian food is just not for me.

Me: "Not really..."

TinHead: "Is it because my hair's too long? Sorry it looks unkempt."

Me: "Actually your hair is way too short."

I actually think guys with longer hair are hot. Think Felix from Stray Kids, what a hottie. TinHead, not even close.

TinHead: "But a guy on the internet said I had to get a haircut and stop playing video games!"

Me: "What?"

TinHead: "So what about Carabbas? I know you're going to stress about what to wear for all six of your friends."

I only have a couple, and I wear jeans and a hoodie when out and about. It's whatever. But I was not going anywhere with him.

Me: "I said no!"

He hung up, tomorrow, he goes to my yoga class, blows up my phone, asking about Carabbas over and over again. I get through the day towards Friday because I want to spend all day playing the new Ocarina of Time remake.

Or at least I would if it wasn't for Friday. I get a knock on the door. Strange, who could be at my door, I thought, my Amazon package isn't coming until Sunday. So I answered the door and I got the biggest shock of my life.

TinHead: "Surprise!"

TinHead stood underneath the flourescent lit hallway looking like a budget slasher villain holding two boquets of flowers, probably from Trader Joe's.

Me: "How the fuck did you find my place?!"

TinHead: "Tee hee, I contacted your mom about this Carrabbas date and how I'll give you flowers, and she told me where you live. So what do you think? I got you flowers."

I couldn't find any words to say. I don't even like flowers. I have no vase at all. Yet this guy is trying so hard. I would find it corny if he hadn't stalked me! Now I find it terrifying.

TinHead: "I made a reservation for Carabbas, just two of us, okay? Take the flowers."

He forces me to hand the flowers. I try to give them back to him but he insisted I take them. I excuse myself for five minutes, throw the flowers away, and try to compose myself over this situation. I don't know why but I was worn down, just broken, I couldn't escape the dreaded Carabbas date. So I grab my Switch 2 and Ocarina of Time Remake.

Join me for part 3.

TinHead, or: How Not To Ask for a Second Date

Hello /r/neckbeardstories, IchiHimeFangirl420 here, and this is part 2 of my series of TinHead. So let's get a cast list refresher:

So I finally went on this date somehow, except I made it explicitly clear that it's not a date but a hangout. I was sitting at Carabbas with my Switch 2 playing some Ocarina of Time, while this dude is leering at me.

TinHead: "So when were you born? What are your life goals? What's your favorite TV show?"

Me: "So what do you want me to answer first?" While I focused on Ocarina of Time.

TinHead started to look annoyed: "You know, I couldn't help but notice you keep playing those video games."

Me: "What's wrong with that?"

TinHead: "I was told girls don't like guys who played video games."

This is a point I like to make, what I look for in a guy is he has to play video games with me, otherwise what are we even doing on Friday? Spend an entire evening asking awkward questions while I pretend I'm not here. When I explained that there are girls who liked video games, and I told him all the hobbies I like, I discovered he gave up on all his hobbies, like anime, gaming, DnD, everything. Only thing he watches are sports and cable TV.

He has barely any hobbies, no interesting personality traits, nothing about him, his whole personality is. Going on this hangout was about as exciting as a Quartering video.

So I asked the waiter if we can split the bill. Despite TinHead's insistence he split the bill, I put my foot down and demand the bill be split. He relents, drives me back home and that's the night.

Next day he asks for a second date via call, not even text. I decline, hang up, and two hours later, he calls and asks again.

I tell him over phone I prefer texting, and tell him the answer is going to be no!

He keeps showing up at my doorstep with flowers yet again for a couple weeks, until I finally snap one day. That day TinHead shows up at my doorstep once again, he asks for a date again, he made reservations for Carabbas again, and says I have to go with.

TinHead: "So wanna go to Carabbas again? I got some reservations!"

At this point I had it.

Me: "For the last time no! Please stop calling me, please stop asking me, please don't go to my place again, and stop giving me flowers! I don't like Italian, I wanted to go to Ramen, I want to play Ocarina of Time alone, and I'm not interested in you! You are the most boring person ever!"

TinHead interrupted: "I was a gentleman, I'm not like other guys! I showered, got a haircut, cleaned my car, gave up on video games and all my other hobbies, and, I give you flowers, made reservations, and tried to pay, and what do I get for all my efforts? You acting like a cold-hearted bitch!"

Me: "I never asked for you to give up video games, no woman ever asked you, didn't you say that you heard this advice online? Was it a man giving advice? I guarantee you it was a man!"

TinHead: "You know what? Fine! If you're going to be such a bitch to me, after all this effort, after all the money I wasted on you, I hope you're happy on your own! I'm going my own way! No more dating, you modern women never give gentlemen like me a chance! I hope you get abused by some tatted up felon!"

Me: "I am happy on my own, and good. Go give someone not interested in you your flowers!"

After he said that, he slammed the door, I watched him driving out of my apartment complex recklessly, and I thought it was the end, but did I mention he was MGTOW? That means he won't shut up about modern women. All I got was texts about what he did WITHOUT ME! He went to the water park, he had Italian food, a lot of random things besides having hobbies of his own.

I blocked his number, the Yoga studio banned TinHead, and he's not allowed in my apartment complex again.

I searched for the dating advice he was talking about and saw some guy named DirtDog saying not to play video games, going to yoga, the flowers, asking three questions, and seeing his responses, I think he's a smug douche. And why is he hanging around 20 year old girls as a 45 year old man? Creepy.

I then looked at a youtube video from TinHead under his red pill grifting channel, and in the video he says that he gave up video games, got a haircut, showered, gave her flowers, opened doors and still got friendzoned, so now he's an alpha male who isn't nice to women. All the comments were saying things like "Modern females don't appreciate traditional men anymore" and "Sounds like she's for the streets!" I was thinking "Oh god not this shit!"

So that concludes the story of TinHead, a guy who would rather take advice from some out of touch boomer named DirtDog who owns seven coffee shop locations, rather than asking women themselves. Look, I get that some guys struggle with dating, I struggle too. And you can try and look for advice, just don't be a TinHead, and don't follow advice from a guy who thinks DirtDog is a good nickname.

11.11.26

TinHead, or: How Not To Pick Up Girls At Yoga Class

TinHead, or: How Not To Make A Grand Gesture

TinHead, or: How Not To Ask for a Second Date

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